Pain Portal 2025
When the world isn’t built for you, you learn to redesign it.
When the world isn’t built for you, you learn to redesign it.
I’m a speaker, writer, and facilitator, who creates spaces where grief and joy, limitation and possibility, are held together.
Keynote Speaking and Facilitation
- Stories that spark personal and collective change
- Practical tools for building more inclusive, connected communities
Keynote Speaking and Facilitation
- Stories that spark personal and collective change
- Practical tools for building more inclusive, connected communities
Keynote Speaking and Facilitation
- Stories that spark personal and collective change
- Practical tools for building more inclusive, connected communities
Coaching
Together, we:
- Access your creativity and intuition
- Unlock the magic inside you that’s ready to bloom
Coaching
Together, we:
- Access your creativity and intuition
- Unlock the magic inside you that’s ready to bloom communities
Coaching
Together, we:
- Access your creativity and intuition
- Unlock the magic inside you that’s ready to bloom communities
What I offer
• Keynotes, workshops, and courses
• Consulting on access, care webs, and cultural change
• One on one coaching (can include families and support systems) and ongoing groups
How I work
• Storytelling that makes systemic issues personal and felt
• Consulting that prioritizes real access, not checkboxes
• Workshops and talks that reframe care as creativity
Testimonials
I have struggled for many years with chronic pain, trauma, and confusion about my identity after receiving the label "Disabled person." I started working with Xander a year ago, and the growth and change they've helped me achieve around these struggles are deep and palpable. Xander approaches each session from a place of deep listening and compassion, and while they happily offer guidance, they always follow my lead, allowing me to go where healing is most needed in the moment. Xander is thoroughly focused and present throughout each session, making me feel held, heard, and completely respected. Their grounding and visualization exercises help me feel connected to all living things, which is very healing when you feel different and alone due to disability. They have helped me foster community and a new sense of self-empowerment, and are incredibly skilled at approaching challenges in creative ways. For the first time in my life, I'm understanding that my worth is inherent and that I have so much more to offer the world than I thought.
I was particularly impressed with how present and vulnerable Xander was in front of a group of strangers. They had nothing to prove, and yet disarmed the audience with their wit and candor. The skill and balance that allowed Xander to be able to share pieces of their story in a way that invited the audience to consider: relatable, concrete, and insightful narratives; joyful surprises; and the opportunity to question their assumptions without feeling threatened in any way. Language choice, tone, warmth of expression all help set the audience at ease, as members of the audience discussed later. In a time when we have fewer fellow citizens willing to reach out and understand each other’s stories and experiences, Xander is a welcome illustration of how we can be better together and lead by example.
I am incredibly grateful for the support and guidance Xander provided to my kiddo during her time in her first year in college. As someone with ADHD, my kiddo had some challenges navigating academic and personal life and learning new study and time habits - which were often overwhelming, but Xander offered tailored coaching that not only helped develop effective study habits and organizational skills but also boosted their confidence. The strategies they worked on together were practical, and my kiddo saw immediate help in her ability to manage her time, and implement the strategies Xander taught. Thanks to Xander's coaching, my kiddo not only was able to tackle their studies but also learned valuable life skills that will continue to serve them well beyond college. Thank you Xander!
Xanders voice empowers through vulnerability, lived experience and wisdom and knowledge gained. From this vulnerability, Xander reaches out to others who are experiencing marginalization, isolation and disconnection, due to being different in our society, and creates interconnection, belonging and community. I spent twenty years homebound by chronic progressive illness. I am grateful for restored health. I am finding in Xander’s work, deeper healing for my years of physical struggle, and I am finding inspiration for my life and my work today.
Xander has been working with both of my young adult kids for 2 months and I’ve seen more progress and results than over a year of therapy. Xander is much more than a coach: they both felt understood and safe. The positive results (job offers and improved grades) speak for themselves. I am very grateful.
